Changing a child's name after divorce or separation

Does divorce change who has to agree?#

No. Parental responsibility does not end when parents separate, divorce or stop speaking, so the people who must agree are the same as before. GOV.UK's guidance for separated parents says a parent who has parental responsibility but does not live with the child must still be included in important decisions, and that for a major decision everyone with parental responsibility must agree in writing. Its rule for a child's name is the agreement of everyone with parental responsibility, or a court order.

Where the child lives, and how often they see the other parent, does not change that. HM Passport Office's guidance adds that a father does not lose parental responsibility by being taken off a birth certificate; only a court order removes it. Who has parental responsibility explains how each parent comes to hold it.

What changes when a child arrangements order is in force?#

If a court has made a child arrangements order about who your child lives with, the rule is written into the Children Act 1989 itself. Section 13 says that while such an order is in force, no person may "cause the child to be known by a new surname" without either the written consent of every person who has parental responsibility for the child or the leave of the court.

Three details of the wording matter:

• Which orders. The section applies where the order regulates who the child is to live with, or when the child is to live with any person. An order that deals only with time spent with a parent does not bring it into play, though the ordinary rule, that everyone with parental responsibility must agree, still applies.
• In writing. The consent has to be written. An agreement reached in conversation does not meet the section.
• Known by. The section is framed around the surname the child is known by, not around a particular document.

HM Passport Office's guidance applies the section to passports, and notes that some orders last until the child's 18th birthday and themselves state that nobody may cause the child to be known by another name without the court's consent, so read your order.

What does consent look like if we do not speak?#

Agreement does not need a conversation. What organisations ask for is written consent from each person with parental responsibility:

• For a passport, GOV.UK asks for a signed and dated letter from everyone with parental responsibility confirming the name change, or their written consent when an existing passport is changed.
• On the document itself, HM Passport Office accepts a deed poll signed by both parents as showing consent, unless there is evidence that someone else also holds parental responsibility. A statutory declaration counts only if it names, and is signed by, everyone with parental responsibility.
• For the school, Department for Education guidance tells schools in England to get written evidence of consent independently of the parent asking: updating a child's name at school.

Consent is clearest when it names the child, gives the current and new names in full, and is signed and dated by the person giving it. It can go by post, or through solicitors: GOV.UK notes that if you cannot contact your ex-partner, or they do not reply, a legal adviser can negotiate for you and you do not have to speak to them yourself. Mediation can also take place without you being in the same room or on the same call.

Silence is not consent: an unanswered letter leaves the name where it is. If contacting the other parent would put you or your child at risk, the need for consent or an order remains, but GOV.UK says you will not usually need a mediation meeting where you have evidence of domestic abuse, and legal aid may be available; the passport office's guidance routes such cases to its safeguarding procedures.

What if the other parent says no?#

Then the decision moves to the family court, after an attempt to agree. You will usually need to attend a mediation meeting (a MIAM) with an accredited mediator before applying, and GOV.UK says a voucher of up to £500 towards mediation sessions is usually available, whatever you earn. If mediation does not produce agreement, the application is for a specific issue order on form C100: applying for a specific issue order. A judge decides on the child's welfare, weighing matters that include the child's wishes and feelings: how the court decides. GOV.UK says a court order usually takes around 10 months.

If the other parent cannot be traced at all, changing a child's name when the other parent is absent explains the routes.

I am the parent being asked. What are my options?#

You are entitled to be asked. If you agree, put it in writing, signed and dated, and keep a copy. If you do not, say so: a school in England should not change the surname without written evidence of your consent, and the passport office will not issue a passport in the new name without it or a court order. If you believe a change is about to be made regardless, a prohibited steps order is the court's way of stopping a particular step, and Citizens Advice can help you think through the options. Whichever way you lean, your child's view counts with a court: how much a child's own view counts.

If I go back to my own surname, does my child's change too?#

No. Reverting to your maiden or former name changes your name only. GOV.UK's guidance is that your marriage certificate and decree absolute, or civil partnership certificate and final order, may be enough to return to your original name, though some organisations will want a deed poll. Either way, the document is about you. Your child's name changes only through a change made for the child, such as a child deed poll, with the agreement of everyone with parental responsibility or the court's permission. Changing your name back covers your side.

If what worries you is having a different surname from your child, travelling abroad with a child who has a different surname deals with the practical side. A double-barrelled surname that keeps both parents' names is another possibility, under the same consent rule: giving a child a double-barrelled surname.

Can a new partner agree instead?#

No. GOV.UK says step-parents do not automatically get parental responsibility, even when married to the child's parent, so a new partner's agreement cannot stand in for the other parent's: changing a stepchild's surname.

Northern Ireland and Scotland#

In Northern Ireland, Article 13 of the Children (Northern Ireland) Order 1995 sets the same rule, in almost the same words, where a residence order is in force. In Scotland, the Children (Scotland) Act 1995 applies, and the sheriff court or the Court of Session can make a specific issue order on a disputed question: changing your name in Scotland.