Changing a child's name after a parent dies

Who can agree to the change now#

GOV.UK's rule for changing a child's name is the same after a death as at any other time: the agreement of everyone with parental responsibility, or a court order. What the death changes is who that is. Where the surviving parent holds parental responsibility and nobody else does, theirs is the only agreement needed.

Others may share it, and each must agree as well: a step-parent with parental responsibility by agreement or court order, someone named in a child arrangements order as a person the child lives with, a special guardian, or a guardian whose appointment has taken effect. If there was a court order about the child, look at it again: HM Passport Office asks to see any court orders, and some orders require everyone's written consent or the court's leave before a child is known by a new surname.

This page describes the law in England and Wales; Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own.

A guardian named by the parent who died#

A parent with parental responsibility can appoint a guardian for the child in the event of their death, in a will or in a written appointment that is dated and signed (Children Act 1989, section 5). The guardian holds parental responsibility once the appointment takes effect, and the timing matters:

• If the child still has a parent with parental responsibility, the appointment normally waits until the child no longer has one.
• It takes effect at the death if no parent with parental responsibility survives, or if the parent who died was named in a child arrangements order as the person the child lived with and the order did not also name the surviving parent.

So a guardian named in a will usually has no say while a parent with parental responsibility is alive; where both hold it, both must agree. If a child has neither a parent with parental responsibility nor a guardian, the family court can appoint a guardian when someone applies, and GOV.UK lets a guardian, like a parent, apply to enrol a child's deed poll.

If the surviving parent does not hold parental responsibility#

GOV.UK explains that a father or second female parent not married to or in a civil partnership with the mother gets parental responsibility through joint registration of the birth, a formal agreement with her, or a court order. If none of those happened before the mother died, the application is to the family court. Where the court names a father in a child arrangements order as the person the child lives with, section 12 requires it to give him parental responsibility as well.

Until someone caring for the child holds parental responsibility, the route to a new name runs through the court. HM Passport Office's guidance says that a person acting in place of a parent must send a court order that allows the change.

What HM Passport Office asks for#

For any child's passport in a new name, GOV.UK asks for the deed poll, at least one record showing the new name in use, such as NHS, Child Benefit or school records, and written consent from everyone with parental responsibility. When someone who had parental responsibility has died, the passport office's guidance to its staff adds:

• any court orders about the child, or confirmation that there are none
• a written statement explaining the situation
• the child's birth certificate
• the full name, date of birth, and place and country of birth of the parent who died, with their passport number if you have it
• the death certificate, if the passport number is not available

Staff check those details against passport records and ask for the death certificate if the records do not confirm the death, so it helps to have it, or an official copy, ready. If you are the child's widowed parent and choose to enrol the child's deed poll with the High Court, which is optional, GOV.UK lists your husband's, wife's or partner's death certificate among the documents you may need.

The child's own feelings#

Until 16 the decision belongs to the adults with parental responsibility. But a name is part of how a child is known at school and among friends, and after a death it can also hold a link to the parent who has gone. If the adults cannot agree and a court is asked to decide, the Children Act requires it to consider the child's wishes and feelings in the light of their age and understanding, alongside their needs and the likely effect of the change.

At 16 or 17 a young person makes their own deed poll, and GOV.UK says that a parent who enrols a deed poll for a child of that age must include a letter from the young person agreeing to the change. A child's own say in a change of name explains more.

Taking time before deciding#

There is no deadline. Nothing in GOV.UK's guidance sets a time limit for changing a child's name, and the name the child has now stays valid for everything until a change is made. Three facts are worth weighing:

• A new name has to be lived, not only signed. The passport office issues a passport in a new name only with evidence that it is in use.
• Each later change needs the same agreement again, and the passport office asks for evidence of every change of name, linking back to the birth certificate or the last passport.
• A name can be kept alongside a new one. GOV.UK says a deed poll can add names or hyphens as well as replace them, so a child can keep the surname of the parent who died: double-barrelled surnames for children.

Your own name#

Your name and your child's are separate decisions, and keeping a married name needs nothing: changing your name when you are widowed covers yours. If you and your children do change together, each person has their own deed poll: can a whole family change surname together?

Support for you and your child#

The NHS page on grief after bereavement or loss explains what can help, when to see a GP and where children and young people can find mental health support. Child Bereavement UK, which notes that children grieve as deeply as adults but can show it differently, publishes guidance on supporting bereaved children and young people, and Cruse Bereavement Support has a section on children, young people and grief. Both offer support through their websites. For advice on your family's legal position, a family solicitor or Citizens Advice can help, and GOV.UK explains legal aid.